More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive."
"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"My father sacrificed his life for our family when I was growing up. He was one of the bravest, wisest, and most unselfish goats I have ever known, and I will miss his cheese dearly."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."