More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."
"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"If girlfriends were knees, I'd love to have both of mine replaced. That way, it'd be easier to run around on them."