I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she c... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull a muscle, so I stretch a lot. That's why I'm constantly either rolling my eyes or yawning."
"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."
"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."
"If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave."
"When a girl says she wants to be friends with benefits, I always ask if that includes dental insurance."