If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick t... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me

"The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss."

"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."

"If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt."

"I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines."

"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."