More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"Let’s get romantic and head to bed and make meatloaf all night long. I’ll wear my Ben Bernanke beard, because it fits me like a fur coat."
"I don’t remember my birth. I guess I got dementia at a young age."
"He said he wanted to trade lives with me, saying he wanted what I have. He must want for nothing, because that’s exactly what I have."
"I haven't measured it, but I'll bet cat purrs vibrate at a healing frequency. Also, a whispered I love you almost certainly resonates with heart and DNA repair."
"If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds."