More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"For the funeral I needed a plus one, so I rented a hooker. And then I rented a movie. Rest in peace Grandpa, or whoever you were."
"I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one."
"If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs)."
"I have a lot of love to give, because free samples are the best way to encourage sales."
"Love is a Heaven Cake, with clouds for icing. If there are two pieces left, I guess I can have seconds."