More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which have significantly less gravity than earthier foods such as fruits and vegetables."
"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."
"I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals."
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."
"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."