More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral."
"I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter."
"I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals."
"I want to write my own eulogy, and I want to write it in Latin. It seems only fitting to read a dead language at my funeral."
"I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half."