More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me."
"I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave."
"I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable."
"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."
"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."