I want to lose weight by eating nothing but moon pies, which... - Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I like to spoon after I fork."

"I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, "Who's the yellowbelly that stole my happy trail?"

"I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair."

"I want to keep a human mouth on my coffee table. It’ll be a great conversation starter."

"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."