More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."
"I want to be a naughty pirate, because when I put on that eye patch, it barely covers my genitals."
"I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it."
"I want to create a seventeen-syllable word that encompasses the human condition, and then use that word to form the world’s most perfect haiku."
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."