More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to meet a guy named Art. I'd take him to a museum, hang him on the wall, criticize him, and leave."
"I want to see an elephant hunt down a man for the sole purpose of collecting his teeth, while a chorus of typewriters sings songs that praises the bananas for their wisdom, leadership, and their high levels of potassium."
"I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me."
"I want to merge a Phoenix with a Camel to create the world's first everlasting cigarette. It'll be a cigarette that rises from its own ashes, so you can keep smoking it indefinitely."
"I want to write a poem about "Truth,""Honor,""Dignity,"and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it."