More quotes by Jarod Kintz, I Want

"I want to get the huge wart that looks like a nose removed from my back, but first I'm going to try to grow a mustache underneath it, to make it less noticeable."
"I want to get the words "Courage"and "Bravery"tattooed across my back, so people could associate me with those things as they read them while they chase me."
"I want to be a cowboy, but only long enough to barge into a saloon and bellow, "Who's the yellowbelly that stole my happy trail?"
"I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married."
"I want to write a book so long that it will take the average person their whole life to read. It will be exactly the same length as the Bible."