Her dancing inspires me to move. I used to be like a statue,... - Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I drink coffee like steam is the ghost of dead water. Ever tried inhaling the afterlife?"

"The wealthier I get, the more money I will have to not have, because my goal in getting is giving, and nothing is better than charity."

"It's a fact that men make more money than women. That's why I became a man. Best decision of my life."

"Man has two legs and chairs have four, because we were made to stand out, not sit down—or be sat on. You are your brand—you are not a piece of furniture. Well, this applies to everyone except my grandma, but she’s dead, so she really doesn’t mind being used as a coat rack."

"If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra?"