More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."
"There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"