More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!"
"I’m a powerful being. I caused the night to turn into day. And I didn’t even try! I simply waited. I’ll bet I could even do it in my sleep."
"I’m such an alcoholic that I go to church just for communion."