"I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best."
JA
Jarod Kintz, $3.33
69 quotes
Quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."
"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."
"It’s absolutely unfair for women to say that guys only want one thing: sex. We also want food."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"I just recently figured out how mirrors work. Pretty cool. That guy always hungrily staring at my naked body was me!"
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"I called an insurance company to get a quote. They gave me one of Oscar Wilde’s best."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."