More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"I’m very close to my dad. He’s about six inches away right now and snoring in my ears."
"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."