More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself, with myself in this case being himself?"
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."
"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."
"If you tell me I look like someone you know, I might get panicked and think you’re on to me. I thought nobody saw me abduct that guy and steal his identity."