Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lo... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up."

"Goodbyes, they often come in waves."

"A stationary bike is a device that epitomizes the phrase “hurry up and wait."

"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."

"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."