I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot... - George Carlin
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"How is it possible to have a civil war?"
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"Meow” means “woof” in cat."
"The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."