"I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no man (or woman) question my ability as a lover."
"Love is the most amazing feeling in the world. Let me double check. Yep, love is a feeling."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"A string of burglaries is a crime necklace. Everything I have can be stolen except love, because I give it all away."
"She’ll come to love me or she won’t. I’m a fisherman, not a hunter."
"The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you."