Love is tender, like the pot roast I’m keeping warm in my sh... - Jarod Kintz, Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

"To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone."

"Two butterflies in two socks could walk faster than I can run. A love song will jog your memory like I jog like Roger Bannister in a wheelchair."

"Me: On time. Love: Late. Death: Early. Seriously, why are you late?"

"Making benches is no walk in the park. It takes one a lot of love to make a bench, and then it takes two to make love on that bench."

"The waves were choppy, like Chuck Norris' karate hands. The ocean would have been still, if I weren't making love in it."