"I went to Hallmark, but they don’t sell corridors there. I did, however, find a card that perfectly summed up our relationship. The card was blank."
"The difference between you and everyone else, is everyone else. And that’s a lot, so you should feel special."
"I had a second friend come over to my house, and do you know what I called her? A refill. If relationships aren’t drinkable, why do we thirst for them so much?"
"Gold is liquid sunlight frozen in time, and that’s why I love the way ice melts in vodka. I also love the way ice melts in vodka. I’ll have another shot, if you’ll reload the revolver."
"Leadership is being the first to put others second. Wait, that’s not right. That’s politics."
"I deal in the ideal idea. Buy, sell, or trade, I am offering the best prices on Love."