More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"I sympathize with a mother who has three mouths to feed—especially if two of those mouths are on her face. With a woman like that I’d listen twice as hard for doublespeak. I’m pretty accustomed to picking up on political rhetoric."
"Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser. Some trees live to be hundreds of years old, and what the fuck do they know?"
"She makes my heart melt. There is a limited supply of sips, so grab a straw and start slurping while you can."
"You can use your mouth to speak the words I love you, or you can use your mouth to kiss me and transport love from your mind to my heart."
"You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time."