I wonder if rooms in an insane asylum have Do Not Disturb si... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

"I wonder if rooms in an insane asylum have Do Not Disturb signs for the doors. I should hope not, because knock or no knock, every occupant in those rooms is already disturbed."

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More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.

"Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight."
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"I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that."
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"Half of what I write is garbage, but if I don't write it down it decomposes in my head."
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"What’s the opposite of start? Would the average person think stop or finish? The answer may reflect the difference between a winner and a loser."
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"My grandpa died yesterday. I ought to know, because I shot him. So come, join me in the fight against patricide by killing your father’s father."
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