I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a boo... - Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"I’m trying to translate what my cat says and put it in a book, but how many homonyms are there for meow?"
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, The Days of Yay are Here! Wake Me Up When They're Over.
"What’s on my mind? I could say you, but we both know I'd be lying. Actually, I'm only pretending that you aren't on my mind. But I know that you don't mind."
"Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee, or directly into your soul?"
"Every night I pray I whisper into a megaphone, not only so God is sure to hear, but also my neighbors, because I pray to God He’ll deliver pestilence and plague to the residents next door. I even tell God the exact address, as if He can’t read my heart. But it’s not for His benefit, it’s for my neighbors’."
"More people are leaving TV behind to read my books than ever before. In the last year alone I gained over two readers (three, to be exact). So I’d like to take a moment and say thanks mom, dad, and kidnap victim I keep chained in the basement."
"Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans."