I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol wa... - George Carlin

"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."

"Electricity is really just organized lightning"

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."

"The planet is fine. The people are fucked."

"Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that."