It's never just a game when you're winning. - George Carlin

"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."