More quotes by George Carlin

"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."