More quotes by George Carlin

"Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink,I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to fuck"
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"
"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."
"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."