More quotes by George Carlin

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."
"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."
"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."