More quotes by George Carlin

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam."
"I think I am, therefore, I am... I think."
"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."
"Meow” means “woof” in cat."