More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"String several words together in a sentence and you have a language necklace. My I love you would look great with your favorite red dress."
"I buried the lasagna, because it was better than disposing of a dead body. I’ve been burned in a relationship, but never in an oven. I’ll try harder."
"Love is like 9.75 plus .25. That’s 10, for all of you people trying to add fractions on your fingers. I can only count using eight, because I’m too busy using my middle fingers to tell the politicians how much I love them."
"You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale."
"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."