More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The storm is coming whether you’re aware of it or not, and whether you’re prepared for it or not. Thank God you have a man like me in your life, a man with a variety of umbrellas for sale in an affordable range of prices."
"You wash the horse, and I’ll wash the horse trainer. Then we’ll wash the dishes while we gallop into the sunset like two dirty lovers."
"She said she loved me, and I didn’t believe it for a minute. Maybe 59 seconds, but not a whole minute. I may be gullible, but I’m not without an accurate way to measure time."
"What reading level is the word love? It’s a four-letter word everybody knows the meaning of, but nobody can define it."
"After soul searching, I found myself. Then I found myself giving of myself to a charity that finds missing children. It's great to be found."