"If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal. I would pour you a large glass of Michael Phelps, but I don’t have that much water."
"Hoping to win the lottery to escape your existence is like waiting on a unicorn to give you a ride out of town. If you’re interested, I’m selling saddles."
"A chance meeting in a Kansas City coffee shop may take me months of planning and twice a day visits for over a year. But I already have my stunned, surprised, and shocked speech rehearsed for the moment I act like I had no idea she would be there."
"I have rubbed shoulders with the rich, the powerful, and the armless. It’s how to network when handshakes aren’t an option."
"Telephone pole wires get in the way of great photos. Communication always gets in the way of communication."
"I am a slave to your love. Well, more like indentured servant."