If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kick... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side."
"If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time."
"If flowers were boogers, I'd pick a few big ones and flick them on your grave."
"I have a fear of palindromes. Maybe because the only person to ever beat the hell out of me was a man named Bob."
"I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q."