If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kick... - Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, It Occurred to Me
"To me, the perfect date consists of dinner, dancing, and sex with a girl who has no stomach or legs, but does have an overactive sex drive."
"I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too."
"I like my relationships like I like my eggs. Over easy."
"My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun."
"I always appear smarter when I dress up in my giant nipple costume. I know this because I'll overhear people say things like, 'At least he's not a complete boob."