More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."
"I wouldn’t advise making a four-year commitment to eventually land an $8.00/hour job. Skip college. Read Wikipedia for free instead."
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."