More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"If religion is a crutch, then society is the broken foot."
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"The fastest way to lose weight is to find religion and start fasting."
"You’re disoriented. You just woke up. You’re in the future. You’ve been asleep for eight hours."