Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lo... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"On the night of the murder I was at home, asleep. The characters in my dream can vouch for me."

"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."

"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."

"Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times."

"I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time."