The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ev... - Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"The way I wrestle five-year-olds makes me think if I were ever attacked by a pack of midgets, I’d be OK."
More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33
"I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails."
"She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up."
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."
"When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."