More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"I like to vote, but not be voted on. I don’t mind losing one on one, but to lose through a vote means the majority think I’m a loser."
"I want to own a wind farm. Don’t breathe, or you’ll undermine the price of my crop."
"There is safety in numbers. And science. Clone your way to being safe. Nobody can protect you like you. And you and you and you."
"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"The only reason my wife agreed to marry me is because Christian Bale wasn’t around to propose to her."