More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I want to hire someone to stand outside my door and knock three times, with each knock being three years apart. At the end of the nine years I’ll reply, “Who is it?” And without delay or reply, the person on the other side of the door is to find a new job."
"I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead."
"You’re used to being the smartest guy in the room. Solitary confinement will do that."
"I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece."