"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy."
"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"
"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
"I hate writing, I love having written."
"I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it."