"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy."
"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"
"It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day."
"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."
"If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folks that cause me pains :)"