"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]"
"I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."
"Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common."
"If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy."
"Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt."
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."