"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]"
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
"Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses."
"Don't look at me in that tone of voice."
"I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid."
"It costs me never a stab nor squirm / To tread by chance upon a worm. / Aha, my little dear, / I say, Your clan will pay me back one day."