If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

"I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

"Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be."

"Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside."