If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

"Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought."

"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

"The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies."

"The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven."