If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

"I read in self-defense."

"The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."

"To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition."

"I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer."

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."