I’m a romantic. I like cold coffee and orgasms that arrive f... - Jarod Kintz, A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..

"I hate when women give me that look. That overlook."

"If my name were C. Ross, I’d definitely be religious."

"I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert."

"A poem for Beth: Roses are red, Violets are blue, I didn’t know what love meant, until I looked it up in the dictionary."

"I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit?"