More quotes by George Carlin

"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."
"The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."
"He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly."
"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"