More quotes by George Carlin

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."
"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with."
"I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood."
"I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it."