"I’m late to dinner, but I’m early to being in love. I’m such a gentleman that I hold every door open—even if the guy sitting in the bathroom stall is protesting."
"My cabinet was made by hand. My applause is also made by hand, and I stood there clapping the whole time the carpenter was making my cabinet."
"She said she'd love me forever. That was two days ago, so I should probably ask her again if she still feels the same way."
"If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now."But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast."
"I think eulogies are wasted on the dead. It’s the living who need to hear kind words spoken about them."
"My past is black and my future is blank. My only canvas is the present. The best color to paint with is love."