More quotes by Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE

"The wind is my favorite color. It reminds me of the love she painted on my life as she blew past me."
"I arose like a rose, and this is how I knew I was in love. In the garden of life, I’m better off in your neighbor’s yard."
"I’m more of a journalist than anyone in the mainstream media, and I write fiction. More than fiction, I write absurd nonsense surrealism, and my work has more truth."
"I love firm hugs. Statues are so affectionate. Well, at least compared to my ex wife."
"If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, and they’re still attached to the body that’s been decomposing there since I hid it three days ago."