I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when... - Woody Allen

"The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it."

"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."

"I read in self-defense."

"If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."