I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when... - Woody Allen

"I think being funny is not anyone's first choice."

"Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine."

"I read in self-defense."

"All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it."

"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."