More quotes by Jarod Kintz, $3.33

"Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers."
"I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones."
"I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!"
"I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything."
"If sharks really can smell blood, then I’d imagine they’re all salivating over my erection right now."